Gee!


and once again, i havent been writing in here for a long time..
been pretty busy with stuff..

and did i mention? damn, it is tough to play the guessing game!
i have to been constantly guessing wads going through the other person's mind so as to make sure that im on save grounds and be prepared and not caught off guard! the more practices you haf, the higher the possibility that you will be a successful psychic

sometimes it really isnt that tough. just that pride suddenly seems readily availabe, and other nonsense is in the way! BAH!!

and as if things arent bad enough, all the anticipation keeps racing in my head! with all those overweighing expectations, i feel like im going to crumble!



but that was the best outing i had for a long while...

It Should Not Be There


somethings never seem to change.

from the start, it was a mistake.

but NO! it wasnt nipped in the bud....

and instead, i helped to blossom this blunder to a sin....



say hello to the Real World

aStray

u know some people are just not the best people to befriend....


because...
living in their society is like a place where "Play Down" are the 4-letter words and Exaggerations came with no extra charges.

in their kingdom, Targets, Plans and Aims are never on the agenda..
they achieve their goals by practicing Randomness and Spontaneity..

Normal is nothing that they yearn to be..
They especially love to be Dramatic or better still, Melodramatic!

Welcome to the world of NIMRTA!

but its with all these electrifying impulsiveness that makes me giggles laaaaa....

we talked from a bday planning, to debating whether closing one eye is tiring or twoo.. and then analysed that who is more updated, and then everything all end in the crack of un-glam laughter!

Loves it! That's Hot!

the greatest mishaps when pursuing education....

1. lousy timetable...
2. great distance btw one tutorial to the other...
3. lousy modules...
4. not so gd lecturers/tutors...
5. and the worst......... LOUSY CLASSMATES!!!
6. lastly, the DEADLY MISFORTUNE>>>>>>>>> LOUSY PROJECT MATES!

i havent been writing much abt my sch life.. last semester was the greatest semester EVER. and this being my last sem (**touchwood**), i haf to deal with all these bitchy people and stoopid free-riders...

and after my detailed analysing skills, i realised............

• in Yr 1, people actually do group up with the free-riders in a proj grp cos they do not know each other and thinks that everyone is as hardworking as the ants and thus grp with anyone that they found left alone....

• when reach Yr 2, all these free-riders will not pass certain modules (probably due to the low peer-evaluation marks- which i personally think is bull shit since they still get promoted!)and hence they haf to join different classes in order to fit into their timetable.. so the innocent new classmates think that they are so poor thing and have no one to group with, hence took them in...

• so Yr 3 comes.. do u think by now they change?? NO!!! they still free-ride and leave off others!! the more ridiculous one is that she does not participate in the proj discussion but when presentation, she acts as if she did every damn thing! and by now, almost everyone knows who are the hardworking little ants and who are the free-riders.. so nobody wants to grp with them and they can all group together and hug together and die! but guess wad?? NO!!!! i haf to be placed there becos of my tutor suggests that we shd work with diff pple cos when we enter the workforce, we cant choose who we wanna wrk with.....

if i had a teacher who told me that the world is never fair when i was 15, and i got disappointed and suffered through, i WILL NOT tell my 19 yr old student the same thing.

why do you have to let a student suffer wad you had to bit your lips to pull through?

stifled..

for the past 2 to 3 weeks, i tried to write something, but i haf difficulty expressing myself.
i wanna type and get some of my thoughts out, but they were stuck in the bottleneck.
everytime i logged in, i hope to get something interesting out, but i failed..

looking at the last few entries, i couldnt apprehend wad was the thought behind posting such entries.. i was lost. it was an entry that i wanna write something but i cant think of it.


like a mental blockage. haf u had that before?


so den i was lying in my bed just now, and stared at the window.
behind it was pitch dark sky with seemingly dropping crystals to enhance the night.
the air was cool, and the sound of the rain was far and sounded it was approaching.


that was when i realised, where my thoughts and expressions were- kept right next to my solitude.

i thought they left me and never return. but in fact, i was the one who kept them there to accumulate dust.

i was involved in gatherings, trips, plannings, shoppings, clubbings, etc. i hardly had time for myself and to observe and analyse wad is gg on ard me. so that was why they crept away.
i think being emotionally involved is the biggest factor that they left.


i felt really handicapped without them.

Disappointment...


times when hopes are built and then smashed hard, that's wad it is......


why is it that life never goes according to plans?
why is it that whatever i hope that will happen NEVER happens?
why is it that only when my hopes are brought up that they got smashed real hard?
why is it that things can never be perfect?
why is it haf to be so tough on me?


why is it the back of the throat feels so bitter??

L.O.S.T

i've lost my handphone before and i survived the scolding..
i've lost my EZ-link before and i managed to outlive for a month..

but i cannot bear the confusion for being lost in a topic.

when everyone around seems to know wads going on, and im struggling to grasp what just went pass, only to realise that im holding to a handful of sand, with grains slipping pass every moment.

conclusion: Confusion...