Shut Up!
Has it ever occur to you that what u just said is so ridiculous and everyone just stare at you like you're a fool?
Has it ever happened to you that at times you just speak too much that you just feel like stuffing yourself up and shut the fuck up, but your mouth just wont listen?
Have you ever experienced when you try to make something happen, and in the end, NOTHING happened and you just feel like staying back and lying low for like ever?
Have you ever feel like just abandoning everything and just float in the midst of the cotton candy clouds?
Have you ever wish that even if the clouds can't hold your weight someone will be there to hold you even if you fall?
Have you ever hope that for a moment, the sand in your hour glass will stop sliding?
I hope things turn back. but I already saw the end approaching.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Friday, July 29, 2005
Vague but Enough
As I swam aimlessly in the sea of doubts,
it resembled the skys full of clouds.
I never know when the cloulds will turn grey,
neither will i know when the sun exudes its rays.
You rose from behind of the grey clouds slowly,
you lifted me up and i enjoyed the moment totally.
you placed a smile in my heart :D
As I swam aimlessly in the sea of doubts,
it resembled the skys full of clouds.
I never know when the cloulds will turn grey,
neither will i know when the sun exudes its rays.
You rose from behind of the grey clouds slowly,
you lifted me up and i enjoyed the moment totally.
you placed a smile in my heart :D
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Through the Arbor
Kevin Kern- Through the Arbor
this pianist is awe-inspiring. his music is so calming and has theraputic effect.
he is visually impaired. this misfortune has landed on him since birth.
as He took away his precious sight, He bestowed him with amazing talents.
at the age of a year and half, he started learning piano and henceforth found his hidden talent that was changed with his sight.
sometimes i wonder. is God really fair? as u lost something He gives you something in return.
like the window theory- the close of one window is the open of another window.
is his talents God's gift or is it his hardwork?
can't i have the cake and eat it too?
Kevin Kern- Through the Arbor
this pianist is awe-inspiring. his music is so calming and has theraputic effect.
he is visually impaired. this misfortune has landed on him since birth.
as He took away his precious sight, He bestowed him with amazing talents.
at the age of a year and half, he started learning piano and henceforth found his hidden talent that was changed with his sight.
sometimes i wonder. is God really fair? as u lost something He gives you something in return.
like the window theory- the close of one window is the open of another window.
is his talents God's gift or is it his hardwork?
can't i have the cake and eat it too?
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Solitude
The beach looks extremely captivating when the storm is approaching.
The overcastted sky made the clear blue sea looks mysteriously green, with cruises and ships on it, painted against the grayish blue sky. The dark gray clouds moving nearer every minute that ticked past.
The choppy sea and the strong current seemed to be able to swallow the helpless
kayak as foam rushed to the shore. The colour of the sea became increasingly dark as it nears the far end, connecting the sky.
The trees seemed to be dancing unanimously as its leaves brushed against the pavilion. The fallen leaves resembled golden crisp chips being snatched till they break into pieces as the cyclist dashed through them hastily.
The wind combed through my hair as the gentle sun seemed to be fading off every second. Up above, it sprinkled generously on me as I raced past the dancing trees and the stoic pavilion. The hurricane came and swept away my worries. I enjoyed the moment of peace and solitude.
my new best friend
The beach looks extremely captivating when the storm is approaching.
The overcastted sky made the clear blue sea looks mysteriously green, with cruises and ships on it, painted against the grayish blue sky. The dark gray clouds moving nearer every minute that ticked past.
The choppy sea and the strong current seemed to be able to swallow the helpless
kayak as foam rushed to the shore. The colour of the sea became increasingly dark as it nears the far end, connecting the sky.
The trees seemed to be dancing unanimously as its leaves brushed against the pavilion. The fallen leaves resembled golden crisp chips being snatched till they break into pieces as the cyclist dashed through them hastily.
The wind combed through my hair as the gentle sun seemed to be fading off every second. Up above, it sprinkled generously on me as I raced past the dancing trees and the stoic pavilion. The hurricane came and swept away my worries. I enjoyed the moment of peace and solitude.
my new best friend
Saturday, July 23, 2005
News???
firstly, i have to state that this post is not against any bloggers.
but why is our national newspaper- Straits Times- featuring some random blogger's blog being hacked? well, ok it is an offence, but shouldnt they pick something more news worthy?
hmm.. like... some youth group doing fund raising for cultural preservation? *ahem*
hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck
the rays baked my back- i'm half- roasted
firstly, i have to state that this post is not against any bloggers.
but why is our national newspaper- Straits Times- featuring some random blogger's blog being hacked? well, ok it is an offence, but shouldnt they pick something more news worthy?
hmm.. like... some youth group doing fund raising for cultural preservation? *ahem*
hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck
the rays baked my back- i'm half- roasted
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The Twist
it's annoying when decisions/relationships/work/possessions just change at that split seconds.
For example, when what u expressed is not what is being perceived by the other party. Hence causing an immediate fallout.
or when sometimes decisions are being made and i thought it's the best decision for that situation, somethings have to appear to put me in a dilemma.
Havent u played enough already? I'm looking like a fool.
it's annoying when decisions/relationships/work/possessions just change at that split seconds.
For example, when what u expressed is not what is being perceived by the other party. Hence causing an immediate fallout.
or when sometimes decisions are being made and i thought it's the best decision for that situation, somethings have to appear to put me in a dilemma.
Havent u played enough already? I'm looking like a fool.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Closed
i guess everything has a closure to tidy up the tiny details, to put a situation to an end.
this end is not exactly like a dead end whereby u walk back to where u came from.
this end is more like a hurdle that prevents u from returning and continue running forward.
perhaps this is it!
although it wasnt the most wonderful thing among other various options, it is where everything ends.
definitely a HUGE FULLSTOP you forcefully placed at the end of this sentence.
well, at least the end of one sentence signifies the start of another.
i guess everything has a closure to tidy up the tiny details, to put a situation to an end.
this end is not exactly like a dead end whereby u walk back to where u came from.
this end is more like a hurdle that prevents u from returning and continue running forward.
perhaps this is it!
although it wasnt the most wonderful thing among other various options, it is where everything ends.
definitely a HUGE FULLSTOP you forcefully placed at the end of this sentence.
well, at least the end of one sentence signifies the start of another.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Relieved
it's been a long time since i felt so relieved being able to reach home!
the relief that i dont even remember when i return from Cambodia.
the night felt so draggy and seemed to take eternity before the daylight shone.
the deep cut on the sole on my feet felt numb, looking at the bright red blood trickled down, i kind of wanted to test the limits of the amount of blood i can let it run before the wound closes. the red liquid sparkled as it rolled down uncontrollably.
out of the blue, i was hit by a wave of dizzy spell. the surrounding seemed blurred and the noises around seemed to have been put to mute. my head felt heavy and my stomach felt queasy. before my visual got painted white, i quickly sat down at wherever i was.
for the next 2 hours, it seemed to take forever to past.
as i strolled around my estate early this morning, i realised this is not the kind of life i want to lead! such activities are really time consuming and i dont benefit anyhow from it. i want to do something more beneficial, be it to me or to anyone else.
it's amazing how somethings that once occupied most of my time, and i enjoyed doing no longer interests me.
i think i'm definitely NOT a nocturnal creature. i prefer the day.
it is not wise to consume lime juice after drinking
it's been a long time since i felt so relieved being able to reach home!
the relief that i dont even remember when i return from Cambodia.
the night felt so draggy and seemed to take eternity before the daylight shone.
the deep cut on the sole on my feet felt numb, looking at the bright red blood trickled down, i kind of wanted to test the limits of the amount of blood i can let it run before the wound closes. the red liquid sparkled as it rolled down uncontrollably.
out of the blue, i was hit by a wave of dizzy spell. the surrounding seemed blurred and the noises around seemed to have been put to mute. my head felt heavy and my stomach felt queasy. before my visual got painted white, i quickly sat down at wherever i was.
for the next 2 hours, it seemed to take forever to past.
as i strolled around my estate early this morning, i realised this is not the kind of life i want to lead! such activities are really time consuming and i dont benefit anyhow from it. i want to do something more beneficial, be it to me or to anyone else.
it's amazing how somethings that once occupied most of my time, and i enjoyed doing no longer interests me.
i think i'm definitely NOT a nocturnal creature. i prefer the day.
it is not wise to consume lime juice after drinking
Monday, July 11, 2005
No Expectations
That was our motto before we set off to Banlung. Everyday, Desmond would remind us that we had no idea what was ahead of us and we should embrace it as it comes, accept it with no expectations as things would not be any arrangements. Almost all the talks that we had, we had this motto in them- No Expectations.
Now that we are back from Banlung, it's time we settle some unfinished business, such as the post-expedition presentations and the publishing of the books. ok.. The post-expedition presentation is some what done. probably one more to go- the national library which is still currently unsure. So, the books, and probably a continuation of this project. Is it because we want the fame and glory? Is it because we want to share the innocence that we have lost but still remain in the Cambodians? or is it because we want to create awareness about the importance of preserving culture?
The idea of having the book was kind of scraped off, due to the lack of funds. But now, there's an opportunity sitting right there waiting for us to grasp it! Are we grasping it or are we not? if we do, is it because we want to continue to live in this fairytale? is it because we enjoyed each other's company? is it because we want to return to Banlung for a vacation? or is it because we have a burning passion in us to preserve their culture?
If not, this opportunity may no longer be applicable. Furthermore, we won't know the outcome if we don't continue and we won't make any difference to anyone, not even ourselves. So many doubts that make the decision-making process more tedious. So many other considerations that make this situation seems so complicated. So many people invloved that slow things down.
I choose: take up this opportunity, go as we see wad's lay ahead of us, and be prepared for setbacks.
i guess great power comes with great responsibility- hello time management!
That was our motto before we set off to Banlung. Everyday, Desmond would remind us that we had no idea what was ahead of us and we should embrace it as it comes, accept it with no expectations as things would not be any arrangements. Almost all the talks that we had, we had this motto in them- No Expectations.
Now that we are back from Banlung, it's time we settle some unfinished business, such as the post-expedition presentations and the publishing of the books. ok.. The post-expedition presentation is some what done. probably one more to go- the national library which is still currently unsure. So, the books, and probably a continuation of this project. Is it because we want the fame and glory? Is it because we want to share the innocence that we have lost but still remain in the Cambodians? or is it because we want to create awareness about the importance of preserving culture?
The idea of having the book was kind of scraped off, due to the lack of funds. But now, there's an opportunity sitting right there waiting for us to grasp it! Are we grasping it or are we not? if we do, is it because we want to continue to live in this fairytale? is it because we enjoyed each other's company? is it because we want to return to Banlung for a vacation? or is it because we have a burning passion in us to preserve their culture?
If not, this opportunity may no longer be applicable. Furthermore, we won't know the outcome if we don't continue and we won't make any difference to anyone, not even ourselves. So many doubts that make the decision-making process more tedious. So many other considerations that make this situation seems so complicated. So many people invloved that slow things down.
I choose: take up this opportunity, go as we see wad's lay ahead of us, and be prepared for setbacks.
i guess great power comes with great responsibility- hello time management!
Fishcake
hmmm..
its amazing how some people dont understand that your blog space = to ur private place.
ok.
not that private if u found it. will at least i didnt reveal it!
isn't it funny how it's ok for someone to stumble across my blog, but its not ok for people that i dont wanna share my life with to read. weird.
blog space is something publicly private. hmmm..
hmmm..
its amazing how some people dont understand that your blog space = to ur private place.
ok.
not that private if u found it. will at least i didnt reveal it!
isn't it funny how it's ok for someone to stumble across my blog, but its not ok for people that i dont wanna share my life with to read. weird.
blog space is something publicly private. hmmm..
Saturday, July 09, 2005
food for thought
maybe in the near future, participants shd call and ask the organizers when is their event rather than the organizers spreading their information to the participants.
but how can any participants ask for info of the event when she didn't even know such things existed in the first place?
well, maybe participants should draw out their time tables to the organizer and then the organizers can spread their news if the participants are free.
sorry, i really dont see/feel any effort.
maybe in the near future, participants shd call and ask the organizers when is their event rather than the organizers spreading their information to the participants.
but how can any participants ask for info of the event when she didn't even know such things existed in the first place?
well, maybe participants should draw out their time tables to the organizer and then the organizers can spread their news if the participants are free.
sorry, i really dont see/feel any effort.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
yipeeee
presentation is done! woot! once again, it was FANTASTIC! this time round was a bigger scale event, in terms of the audience. like the directors and principal, the Youth Expedition Program people, and frens in the campus. likewise, there were alot who did not turn up either.
so.. wads the highlight this time?? me! I STUMPED ALOT! i felt like a complete fool. standing on the stage alone with the mike in front of me, cards held in my hand, and many pairs of eyes dazed at that nervous block on the stage that forgot her lines. isn't that a wonderful sight?
due to the strategic positioning of the speakers, aft my speech was the dance. so it didnt seem that bad. at least there was a "break".
for people who came, like nim, sera, kenny, the jap-expedition-guy, etc. , good for you! (i was told that this is one of the best post-expedition presentation!) and i really appreciated ur presence. for frens that wasn't able to make it, well.. at least u tried to make urself free, no worries. there are still opportunities for us to present, maybe at the library. and i heard many other forms of communicating channels are coming out. we'll see. THANK YOU to all that made this happen. something that i wanna keep by me for a long time.
let me continue living in this fairytale
presentation is done! woot! once again, it was FANTASTIC! this time round was a bigger scale event, in terms of the audience. like the directors and principal, the Youth Expedition Program people, and frens in the campus. likewise, there were alot who did not turn up either.
so.. wads the highlight this time?? me! I STUMPED ALOT! i felt like a complete fool. standing on the stage alone with the mike in front of me, cards held in my hand, and many pairs of eyes dazed at that nervous block on the stage that forgot her lines. isn't that a wonderful sight?
due to the strategic positioning of the speakers, aft my speech was the dance. so it didnt seem that bad. at least there was a "break".
for people who came, like nim, sera, kenny, the jap-expedition-guy, etc. , good for you! (i was told that this is one of the best post-expedition presentation!) and i really appreciated ur presence. for frens that wasn't able to make it, well.. at least u tried to make urself free, no worries. there are still opportunities for us to present, maybe at the library. and i heard many other forms of communicating channels are coming out. we'll see. THANK YOU to all that made this happen. something that i wanna keep by me for a long time.
let me continue living in this fairytale
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
"Hey! we are having a Cambodia Sharing Session this thurs, 5pm at LT26... "
"...*raise eyebrows* euw! Cambodia? "
"... *twisting lips* ugh! Cambodia?! "
"... *starring right at you as if u are a complete idiot* for wad? "
judgemental people! Cambodia is so beautiful. its beauty radiates from deep within. the innocence in the children's eyes. the smile of the locals that reaches deep into you. the trust within the community. the friendliness of the locals. the sincerity of them. the diligence of the students.
Cambodia does not have huge Theme Parks. neither does she have major shopping centers. Cambodia have landmines, and beggars.
despite its flaws, despite it being a 3rd world country, its beauty is something that radiates from deep within and touches ones heart.the sincerity of the people and the contentment that u see in them. it is not something on the surface. neither is it something that can be pass by word of mouth. it is something that one should experience to understand. it's the heartfelt kind of warmth, that most of the 1st world nation has already lost it!
being selfish, i hope that people continue having the mentality that Cambodia is dangerous and boring- no shopping paradise, no theme parks... sure! just continue believing that.. cos mass tourism will definitely damage the environment.
Singapore is a !st world country with lousy attitude!
Sunday, July 03, 2005
I MISS BANLUNG!
i miss having red sand constantly landing on me.
i miss waking up at 5 and find that the sun is already up and the stunning sunrise greeting me and in the evening aft a whole day's work at IYDP, the sun bids goodbye with a beautiful sunset.
i miss having wood surrounding me. so it wasn't a tough job when i had to touch wood.
i miss the amazing sight of starry nite as i lie down in the middle of the runway and when peter tried to do the debief but no one was on his side.
i miss conversing in Khmer with the locals in the market, shops...
i miss the delicious food and mouth-watering drinks.
i guess thats why we've been putting in effort for things to work out, at the same time enjoying each other's company. cos we find comfort, and bits of Banlung in each of us.
you made my day! :D
i miss having red sand constantly landing on me.
i miss waking up at 5 and find that the sun is already up and the stunning sunrise greeting me and in the evening aft a whole day's work at IYDP, the sun bids goodbye with a beautiful sunset.
i miss having wood surrounding me. so it wasn't a tough job when i had to touch wood.
i miss the amazing sight of starry nite as i lie down in the middle of the runway and when peter tried to do the debief but no one was on his side.
i miss conversing in Khmer with the locals in the market, shops...
i miss the delicious food and mouth-watering drinks.
i guess thats why we've been putting in effort for things to work out, at the same time enjoying each other's company. cos we find comfort, and bits of Banlung in each of us.
you made my day! :D
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