MMmmmmmmm..................


oh gawd... mmmmmm..............

every bite of it seems to allow my wings to grow to its fullest.. to fly to the fluffy clouds and continue to munch on every bit of that fluffy cloud...

it's DELICIOUS!! courtesy of Dan, i was able to live in heaven for that few minutes... .


oh my... the Chocolate Marshmallow Roll................................ ***drrrooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllll***



i just realised yesterday that there IS heaven in the world!

G.O.N.E


this one time that i finally was able to take control of my mind, i lost it...




i guess its a punishment for not being true to people around







if time could go back, i'll not hold myself back and i'll let the feelings flow....


its so tiring to be hiding behind a character that seem to be you but its not really you..




so, how do people deal with layers in them? dont they get mixed up ?

bah


i wish some people just dont ever appear in my life
yes, they make me learn and make me a better person
but they are the dumbfucks that make me feel paranoid about myself..

sometimes i feel happy and overjoyed
many other times i feel so pissed so angry so confused so bothered.

i dont wanna deal with all these people anymore.
i dont wanna deal with anybody for that matter.
i wanna be Missing in Action
i wanna be spending time with myself and feel happy all at once
i wanna be alone


time i should wander around without my phone and fuck off from this world

Frustrations!


there is the very strong sense of hatred in me.
that anger that will soon engulf me... all these anger and hatred for everything around!
so irritatingly bothering!!

it feels like everything is against me! everyone is not being cooperative!
and things just dont turn out right!

i was angry with the bus, the driver, the traffic, the traffic lights.... arrgghh,, EVERYTHING!!!
ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


maybe it's just Friday the 13! Groose Fraba......

Kickass!

for that split seconds as i was cocooning in my comforter, i felt good..
probably is the power of my comforter, or maybe the thought that im finally going to sleep..
and maybe its the warmth that i had in this cold cold weather..

for that moment, thou it only lasted for seconds, i felt good- a sense of satisfaction that i havent felt in a long time...
i felt liberated and the immediate urge to get out of my bed to pen this down..
i feel the sense of happiness for being alone.. single.. whatever way u put it.
it felt extremely wonderful!



if only the feeling could last a little longer..

worn out


seriously, what's wrong with me?! i've been messing ard with the wrong kind of people...


who the hell ever put themselves on the brim of a boiling pot? i do...
im the bird that flies into the crocodile's mouth to pick their teeth..
and just for fun, i shd just flap my little wings and pick food from his mouth.
anytime he just snap n i'll be dead! like DEAD!!


its so tiring to keep having to figure out what things some people says..
everything that is told have to be filtered throu the truth sift.
like everything he said, every action, which is true? i dont know....
and there is a constant nagging of "what ifs"...


whatever happened to being true to people? nobody does that anymore? should i be keeping up with this pace and not be true to people too?



why is it that some people have many layers and i dun seem to have this skill??

The Lizard Trap


have you heard of the Lizard Trap? it's wicked!

well, i was pretty new to this idea and was only introduced to it like end of last yr by my COOL piano teacher..

so i heard it works by secreting scent of lizards' hormones that only produces when mating, and have a REAL sticky platform where the HORNY LIZARDS will stick to that trap and die of starvation... so cool rite! but the bad part is that u haf to remove that dead lizard from the trap to re-use it la..


so imagine, if someday someone ever come out with The Jerk Trap, how wonderful can it be!?

that'll be AMAZING! it protects all the ladies that wanna be away from the jerks!

so then, there is this really big trap house that secretes female hormones to attract HORNY BASTARDS.. and it is a one-way trap.. so all the ass holes that enter can never return! MUAHAHAHAHA!! they shd all be trapped together and probably turn gay since they cant control themsleves..



**Bring along a Jerk Trap to keep you off their trap!!**

Skepticism


u know how people always say "it's ok.. just do whatever you want to do.. why do u even care what others think about you?" and being me, i TRUELY support this idea.

however, does it really not matter wad others think about us? wad if (untrue) rumours start spreading around? and ur reputation is damn as muddy as the puddle of water on the floor....

and the next time u ever meet someone new, not even after 1 week, he/she knows more things that is to know about u. and all that they heard may/may not be true..

but being informed about your noctorious behavior, he/she may already have a perception about you, and everything that comes out of ur mouth may just be taken lightly and she/he'll will feel very skeptical about the things that you said.


Should everyone be treated equally and not be judged?


but then again, what if the next one to get hurt is you? should you be taking things with a pinch of salt?

Wrong Receiver



im sure lots of you out there have the experience of sending the wrong msg to the wrong person.

so, pls raise ur hand if u ever send the wrong msg to the person that u happened to mention in the message...



**shootingmyhanduptryingtoreachtheskyandjumpingforattention**




its like you know that people are talking behind ur back! HOW EMBARRASSING CAN THAT BE?! arrggghhhh...................





but lucky i wasnt bitching.. heh!

SCREWED UP SYSTEM!

who the hell even suggested to bring forward the sch term?!

all these changes is absurdlycrazy! who the hell even voted for sch to continue on November and December? so wad if u r the eldest in the family, and everyone else is going on a holiday because it IS THE RIGHT TIME with EVERYONE ELSE'S School Holidays, you'll be bummingsobbingwhining at home!

besides, with this Screwed up system, the common test week will be on the FIRSTWEEK of the YEAR! who the hell takes Common test on the 1st wk of THE YEAR? others havent even learn 1 Chapter in the 1st week of the year! and after all the partying, boozing, and festive atmosphere lingering around.. i definitely cant concentrate to study for dry papers. have the authorities ever put themselves in our goddamnsmellystinkyfishy shoes?!

with this system, intake of 2006 will be from April.. so wad happened to that 6 months break that all Sec 4 students look forward to?



so....



wad's the benefit of this again?


the one that i can think of is to allow us to graduate earlier.. (when the nxt sch term starts in Aug? or maybe even the FOLLOWING YR?)

err... so less teenagers will be hanging around doing nothing? so doesnt it in someways benefit ur domestic economic activity? and how do u know that they arent working or taking some self-improvement lessons?? huh huh huh!!!




whoever thought of this should really think twice!

My 2005

so wad happened this yr? (oops.. last yr..) hmmm...
i barely remember wad happened in the early part of this yr... my yr seems to start from April..

Jan 1 2005
i sneaked out of my hse at 3 am in the morning... well, for the rest of the year, my life was ADVENTUROUS! i guess the way ur new yr starts really determined how it'll be huh...

den i forgot wad happened..

Major Happening- April 2005
left for Cambodia with a bunch of great peeps (except SOME or sum.. ah.. either way..) all that singing n rides n cooking n wrking.. Ang Kor Wat, rubbish dump, the Killing Field, etc...

i think it was a really great impact.. even when in sch, we cant seem to stop talking abt it.. even during proj, we haf to search for something tt is related. all the experience has definitely widen my horizons. some really life changing experience that I WANT TO undergo again... i feel like that feeling is going to detach.. but i wanna keep by me forever.. and i guess that's the wonders of pictures.. always act as a reminder.

and the best that i got out of it are the frens! the BCs who play a MAJOR ROLE in my life now.. all that chilling n lepak at TCC.. n Green Ground! how can i forget that?! good things never last.. but pls to whoever u r that dictates fate, just let this be the exception.. please.

Education
hmmm.. well... i guess 1 sem covers the ass of the other. my 2nd yr last sem was atrocious! GPA 2.5! like WTF! either i told myself tt i had to wrk hard or was it sth related to the trip, i dunno.. my 3rd yr 1st sem was surprisingly gd.. *i hope i dun jinx myself*

Relationship
bah.. dun talk abt it. nth is in the rite path... thou thru some, i really did learn alot.. and some really cheesy dates..

guy: hey.. do u haf any raisins?
girl: erhmm.. no..
guy: oh.. can i haf the date then?

Friendship
people come people go.. many came but 1 or 2 left...

Finance
hmmm.. well.. not too bad i think. i guess i spend much lesser than the previous yr.. cos aft the trip, i feel like hmm.. wad so great abt looking gd n not feel gd... so less shopping = spend lesser.

Clubbing
hmmm.. only started again recently. much much much lesser than previous yr.. less clubbing = more savings. therefore, inc. in finance.

Health
doing gd this yr.. not too bad.. but i need to burn LOTSA FATS! arrgghh.. all u other high metabolism rate pple just stay out of my sight.

Attitude
i think i improved quite alot in terms of being a person.. rite? or so my feedbacks were. less tempremental, less petty, less disrespectful, less slutty, less bimbotic.. hahaha ..


overall performance: Positive i guess.. hahaha.. well, i do my own evaluation.. so whos there to say anything?!

2006 New Yr's Resolution:

1. studies! complete the last sem with flying colours n start wrking on SATS and admission to university (local) den we'll see where things are..
2. stick to my Exercise Plan.. calling out for jogging n sports khaki..
3. pass Grade 8 Piano Exam with 1 try! PLEASE...
4. continue to go to other parts of the world- Napal, Tibet, India...
5. continue with the attitude check.
6. take things easy.. and everything with a pinch of salt n open mind...

its a yr where i'm not sure wad lies ahead aft my tertiary education... it'll haf to take chance..